John 5:31 If I testify about myself, my testimony is not valid.
This scripture always reminds me that self-gloating will get me nowhere yet it feels as if nobody is there to hoist me on their shoulder with shouts of acclamation. Then I am overcome with the realization that everyone seeks approval in some manner. Why do we do this? Is it to feel better about ourselves? Is it to feel an intimate connection with another?
I believe in the end this “void” is left by the desire to feel loved. I do not necessarily mean love in the horizontal notion but love from our fellow brothers and sisters. The desire of love and appreciation can be said to stem from low self-esteem, and this may be so due to the fact that praise of any kind can be a temporary “fill” in this void. Obviously when one is omnipresent about the need for appreciation we can cross a fine line where one can come across as self-absorbed, but on a neutral level it can indeed be a good thing.
I do not believe that my own desire to be appreciated is due to the need of my ego being stroked. I have crawled on the ground like the foretold visions of Micah. I have paid my dues to the hands of evil; I have starved and known trials. I also know that somewhere in the den of bitter hatred and self-loathing there was brilliance desiring to be made known. Like a peacock strutting in the yard, one wants to share their accomplishments especially when they are of great magnitude to others or just the self-improvement of one bitter being.
I think appreciation is simply a validation of sorts that becomes a reality check so we can be certain that we have not placed delusion on our own selves.
0 comments:
Post a Comment